Love Acts Wildly Like Irate Electrifying Tasers
by JackoffJoker
Summary: Claire is a quirky young fan who wakes up in the world of Death Note. Once getting over the initial shock, she vows to help save the plot from ending with so many losses... if only she can figure out how. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you have to fight your fan-girl tendencies. [Dedicated to my friend. Points if you can decode the title.] OCxL
1. Butterflies

**Love Acts Wildly Like Irate Electrifying Tasers**

* * *

**Prologue:**

**Butterflies**

_To properly tell the story of one Miss Claire Jean Lloyd, you must fully understand that this is not a fictional story. Despite the improbability of the actions that will appear to be fiction, they are all based on actual events that took place at some point in time. Please remember that there are many things in this world that are always going to be misunderstood, ignored, and declared as blasphemy. It is not expected that the person who may stumble upon this collection of writings will be able to comprehend this, but I must ask that you at least try and attempt to wrap your head around what I am about to tell you._

_There are worlds that extend beyond our knowledge. Have you ever fallen into a time warp, or travelled between two black holes? Not many have. Beyond those deep, unexplored appendages in our galaxy there are worlds that exist beyond your wildest dreams; all running at various speeds. Time is different; some worlds slow, some worlds are fast—Don't ask me how I know this. I'm supposed to be the omniscient one, and no one likes to shoot the messenger before they're able to deliver, but I digress. Every book, poem, song, or letter that is said to be a work of fiction is a lie. They are, in fact, as real as the sound of a beating heart._

_Stubborn and tricky, parallel universes are. In your world, right now, you may be at your computer while in another you are on your phone. You might be wearing pyjamas or you may have just gotten in from work... or in some more unfortunate cases, you may be six feet under (I apologize sincerely if this is you). _

_The only thing that can disrupt the course of action is an outward source, or more simplified: The Butterfly Effect._

_We are all aware of the proverb "Things happen for a reason", and that is partly true; however, it cannot be overruled the theories associated with The Butterfly Effect. One mishap can throw an entire plot off course._

_If a small child runs into the street after a butterfly, she may not look both ways. The oncoming semi-truck has no time to swerve, and you have a 2D child permanently stuck in cement with tire prints on her back. But lets say that butterfly was splattered onto the windshield of a car before the child even saw it. The little girl's life is safe and she is able to enjoy the chocolate ice-cream her mother had been buying at the vendor._

_It might save a lot of heartache if we all stop chasing butterflies, don't you think?_

* * *

**Chapter One:**

**Butterflies in Japan**

Hazel-blue eyes stared at the large splat on her windshield with great annoyance. She never washed her car, in fact she rather considered it much like a cat, sputtering and fighting her the whole way through the automatic wash to the point where she was seconds away from getting out and pushing it through the suds. Strangely enough, the '84 Ferrari ran perfectly fine everywhere else. Sure the red beauty had a few dents and the paint was rusting away, but she was Claire's little pride and joy; her baby.

It was just her luck that the largest butterfly on earth would happen to be in front of her car mere minutes after pulling out of the exit. Maybe she could take it in and try for a world record. The butterfly could probably be glued or duct taped back together.

Claire reached for the glove department, not taking her eyes off the road, and grabbed the squeegee that she always had handy. While the car had a strange aversion to water, it did like to remain bug free. She took the squeegee and steering wheel in one hand while cranking the lever to roll down her window.

That was the pain with old cars, nothing was automatic. She half expected there to be tiny hamsters running on a wheel just to power the AC. Though she had already checked, she occasionally liked to pretend. In fact she had once left them a sandwich in the car and it was reduced to crumbs the next day... of course that could have also been the bum that lived outside of her apartment.

Typically the average person would stop to think and realize that driving 80km down the freeway while hanging out the window to squeegee bug guts off of the windshield might not be the best idea. That same person might also realize that there were these things called windshield wipers made for the purpose of wiping the glass clean—that was why they were called windshield wipers. It made sense, didn't it? Sadly, Claire wasn't that kind of thinker. Which is where the first fact about our protagonist comes to light... Miss Claire Jean Lloyd did everything back asswards.

Claire had a good portion of her upper body hanging outside of the window, her tongue poking out in concentration as she somehow managed to manoeuvre the sponge and keep her eyes on the road simultaneously. It was almost clean when her cellphone rang from inside the cupholder. The sound jolted the spiky-headed brunette from her task and she slid quickly back through the window, swerving slightly on the road.

"Hi ho," she greeted cheerfully to whoever was on the other end. It hadn't occurred to her to check.

There was some rustling on the other end of plastic bags before speaking. "Are you doing anything at the moment?" the deep voice asked.

Claire looked at the splotch that was ninety percent cleaned. With pursed lips, she squeezed the blinker and fluid sprayed out and through her open window. "AAARGH!" The phone was thrown into the passenger seat as she rolled up the window as fast as she could, which wasn't very, to avoid getting any more wet. Seeing the windshield finally free of butterfly residue pleased her.

A few minutes passed before she was made aware of the small buzzing of her phone and cursed. "Shit, man. I forgot you were on the phone."

Her roommate, Teddy, sighed. "Yeah, I noticed. What were you doing?"

"I was getting butterfly intestines off of my windshield. Should've seen it. It's huge! ...or it was before it went and imploded," she finished with a sympathetic glance to where the poor, unfortunate insect had landed.

"Right, well I was just going to ask if you could swing by the store on your way back. Of all things I forgot to pick up my fags."

Claire switched lanes and pulled into the nearest filling station. "No problem. I'll be there in a few," she replied as she exited the car.

A breath of relief flowed into her ear. "Thanks mate. You can just add the extra money to my rent for this month."

With a wave of her hand, she brushed off the offer despite the fact that he couldn't even see her. Claire was one of those people who talked animatedly with her hands. "No worries. Do you have everything ready for tonight?" She covered the speaker to request Teddy's brand and picked up the small box with a slight grimace and wondered who on earth came up with the idea of inhaling smoke.

Teddy rattled on excitedly from the other end as he told her about the goodies he'd picked up on the booze run. The excitement quickly rubbed off on her, and an excited Claire meant a somewhat hyper Claire. By the time she was in front of the apartment, she was shaking anxiously like a kid on a sugar high. There were many small things in life that should be appreciated, and drunken gaming simply wasn't appreciated enough in her opinion.

"Are you still there?" Teddy asked. Claire blinked.

"Why don't you look out the window and see?"

She waved happily as Teddy's head poked out the window, his hair was actually pulled back into a ponytail for once and it made him seem even prettier for some reason. Claire could remember a time when she had been intimidated by living with a man who visually looked like a better woman than herself. It hadn't lasted long. Despite his looks, Teddy was very masculine in personality. The blond rolled his eyes and opened the front door for her.

When the first person cancelled and said they couldn't make it, Claire wasn't fazed in the slightest. She had already consumed a few pre-party shots and paid more attention to the action on the television screen. When she threw her phone aside, she couldn't even remember which of her friends had cancelled; however, by the time two hours had passed, she was re-evaluating her small circle of friends. It was kind of sad that none of them wanted to show up, but at least she had Teddy. The fact that he _lived_ there was ignored.

The clock chimed and Claire paused the game. "This calls fer'a sot... s'hot... shot!" she cried triumphantly pumping her fist in the air, then giggled, her face flushing from the sheer amount of alcohol in her blood. It had become a game to her. For every hour that no one came, she would take a shot.

Teddy rose from the beanbag chair with little trouble and shuffled across the room. He looked at his friend and hovered the bottle over the glass wondering if he should continue to encourage her to drink any more. He had stopped drinking much earlier. He also debated on whether or not it was a good idea to bring up the lack of party guests.

The whole event had been Claire's idea; a pre-birthday party since her's landed in the middle of the week. The petite girl didn't seem to give a rats arse about the lack of people who showed up. But something about it just seemed cruel to him, but of course, Claire the optimist probably figured they'd reschedule for another weekend.

Eventually the buzz in his brain battered away the feelings that were arguing within him and he passed off the amber liquid to the brunette, who was more like a little sister than anything else. He ruffled her short spiky hair while she knocked the alcohol back like it was water. Sighing, Teddy flopped down into the lime-green chair.

Claire's head tilted to the side as if it were to heavy to keep up. Her eye caught brooding green eyes. "S'top poutin', Teddy. Yer s'not _that_ bad," she slurred in attempt to be encouraging.

Teddy sent her a muted smile as he lit a cigarette and picked up his controller again. "I'm not bad. I just chose the wrong character. Lets go back to the selection screen and I'll show you my skills."

Had she been less intoxicated, Claire might have realized that Teddy's character had stopped responding ages ago. Instead she lugged him through dungeon after dungeon while cursing at him every time his character needed to be resurrected. It should have been odd that her normally talkative roommate said nothing through all of this, especially when she also died—which happened quite often, but Claire was so involved with the boss she hadn't looked over yet. If she had, she would have noticed the blonde snoring quietly with a line of drool hanging out of his mouth.

The clock chimed midnight and again the game was paused. "Thiiisss calls fer'a—Teddy?" Her bottom lip jutted out when she finally noticed. "How lame!" She had wasted so much time resurrecting a sleeping character when she could've kicked him out and lowered the difficulty level!

The controller was tossed beside her and she rose on unsteady feet to wobble over to her friend like an baby learning to walk. "Oi, Teddy?" she sang, poking him for good measure and he mumbled something incoherent. Claire put her hands on her hips and stared for a moment, wondering what she should do. A lightbulb flashed over her head and the corner of her lip rose into a dopey, booze-heavy smirk.

She stumbled around from room to room, occasionally walking into a wall or tripping over various things, and grabbed the necessary supplies—which wasn't much, but she couldn't remember when the last time she needed glue was and therefore had no idea where it was kept. An evil chuckle burbled through her lips as she collapsed on the floor, ungracefully, and began to squirt the white, sloppy substance on the cling wrap. The tricky part was lifting Teddy's feet, but lucky for her, he wasn't that light of a sleeper. If she were lucky, her mate would sleep until morning. She sincerely hoped she would be awake to admire her handy work, but if she heard it, that would be satisfying enough.

It took Claire a few tries to make it to her bed. Foreign objects just seemed to jump into her path like sneaky little ninjas trying to defeat her, and one very nearly did as she stepped on one of her figures that had fallen from her side table. The hard plastic dug into her foot as she stepped right on top of it. She let out a half-moan, half-laugh and fell to her bed dramatically while holding her throbbing foot.

The little L action figure seemed to look up at her from the floor as if trying to figure her out. Claire picked it up with a glare. "T'was rude, L," she scolded and in her drunken, delusional state, she could almost hear the response. _Is it not rude to step on people as well?_

She picked up the Light figure that had also been knocked over and held the two side by side.

"Yeeer Kira!" she whispered in her best L voice—which wasn't very good at all—shaking the detective all the while.

The Light figure shook before hissing with a slight hiccup, "I'm s'not Kira."

Claire grinned. "S'okay. I'mma gonna—Ikin protect ya!" The Light figured slipped through her fingers and she could have sworn she saw the teen's eyes widen in surprise at the betrayal. "Oh noooo," she croaked in a dispassionate monotone as he hit the carpet. "_Splat_..."

"Oh Claire-bear, yeere my best hero. Ya saved t'day!" L said uncharacteristicly.

The brunette on the bed flashed her pearly whites and flexed her thin arms. "I gotcha, love. Allin'a day's werk," she slurred and looked at him with the most serious gaze she could muster.

"I really, really wish I could've saved ya. Tha' series was rubbish after ya left." Her eyelids felt like they were made of magnets; she couldn't resist the pull any longer and fell backwards.

Where the bed should have caught her back, there was no thump of her body hitting the mattress, or the feel of the soft patchwork quilt her grandmother had made for her years before she passed. This would scare many people, but thankfully Claire was in a liquor induced coma and had no plans to wake for quite some time.

When she did wake many hours later, it was with a dull pounding head that felt like an invisible heard of elephants had decided to play football inside her brain. She thanked her lucky stars that her hangovers never lasted too long and nestled closer into her pillow trying to go back to sleep, but the smell that drifted through her nose made her already queasy stomach churn. Trying to calm it, she took a deep breath.

_Big mistake._

Rotten food infiltrated her senses an she barely had enough time to turn over before her stomach emptied with a splat on the pavement.

_Pavement?_

Her eyes widened in surprise as she sat up and scouted her surroundings, eventually landing on the 'bed' she had found herself cradled in. Sadly, it was not a bed, but a group of trash bags. It was then that she felt the musty banana rind that had taken residence on the top of her head, flattening down her hair like a petite, little hat. With a shake of her head it slid down her face and into her lap making her stomach churn again.

It was not the first time she had woken up in an unfamiliar place; occasionally it was a park bench, or a friends house, or the ever-so-rare bus to no where. The weirdest place, had been was when Teddy fixed her to a folding card table and left her outside for the world to see. She never was able to live that down. Of all places at least she had remained in town.

From the looks of it, she was nowhere near home. There weren't many alleyways that she didn't know about since she had often used them as short cuts before buying her car. Something was off about the area, she just couldn't put her finger on it. After glueing Teddy's feet, she could have sworn she had made it to bed. A melodramatic sigh left her lips as she flopped back onto the trash.

_Second big mistake_.

The bag popped and sent dust flying into the air, causing a coughing fit while the particles fell slowly like dirty snowflakes into her hair. She gagged as she smelled her once white T-shirt and stood to find her way back home; however, she never made it out of the alley way. Instead she let out a loud _'hreeeeeek'_ and flattened herself against one of the brick buildings. Running a hand through her hair, she peaked around the building and her eyes were as big as the moon in awe. "Er... that can't be normal."

There was quite a diversity of race where she was from, but she had never witnessed so many Asians before; not even in tourist groups. Seeing hundreds of Japanese people with maybe one lone Caucasian was quite befuddling.

With the timidness of a stray cat she poked her head and inspected the strange sky scrapers and flashing neon lights. Her finger went to her lip as her head tilted curiously. While she may have seemed calm outwardly, inside her nerves were frying harder than a strip of bacon on a Sunday morning.

What if she somehow bought a ticket to Japan and just didn't remember it? What if some old guy with a beard and halitosis decided to shove her into his suitcase with the attempt to kill her, but later decided she wasn't worth the trouble? Her breath hitched, what if Teddy woke early and thought it would be funny to send her Japan. It wasn't like his typical payback prank, but she couldn't put it past him. Tricky sort, that one was.

Ready to give him a piece of her mind, she reached in her pocket and fished around for her phone—the phone that was laying innocently on the sofa of her flat in London. Groaning, she knocked her head against the brick and cringed as the pounding from her hangover. No wallet, no phone, no passport, no money. She couldn't even speak the language other than 'yes' or 'no' or 'stupid'.

Running out into the middle of the pavement seemed like a smart thing to do at first. It was sure to get her attention enough for someone to perhaps explain what was going on.

She was instantly run over by the herd of business men who were headed to a lunch meeting. One curled his lip when his eye locked with Claire's, though she couldn't be sure if it was her race or the smell of garbage, all bets were on both. She smiled at them as politely as she could from her position on the ground, but they walked away without a second glance.

She wondered if she should just lay in the pavement until someone decided to take notice. Maybe someone would call the cops and she could get deported. Japan was always on her list of places to visit, but she could live with the disappointment if it meant she could get home.

Laying in the middle of a busy sidewalk didn't last long because people kept stepping around her, or over her, sometimes even on her, and no one really seemed to care that someone was in the middle of their path. They did, however, give her bewildered, disgusted, curious or annoyed glances from time to time. It made her feel like chopped liver, or something equally as gross.

"Um... what are you doing?" a voice that reminded Claire of a small child asked hesitantly, but looking up she noticed the girl seemed to be closer to her own age of twenty. Her nose was scrunched up, likely due to the stench wafting from Claire's clothing, but her voice seemed genuinely polite.

Down arms_, _Claire chided her body as they itched to assault the girl in a bear hug. Blue-hazel eyes met brown and they stared at each other before Claire had a beautiful realization. "You speak English!"

The girl blinked and looked around apprehensively. "No, I don't know English. Sorry." She grew even more uneasy as Claire threw her head back and laughed until little snorts came. "I'm Yuno," she offered, hoping the girl would calm down.

"You're speaking English now, though. And I'm Claire," she replied with a smile, until she noticed the panicked expression in the girl's eyes. Sitting up Claire reached out, but Yuno backed up hurriedly.

"You're speaking Japanese like me." Yuno watched cautiously and continued to take slow steps back as if the unusual girl in ill-smelling clothing were a secretly a tiger waiting to pounce. "I-I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Within seconds Claire scrambled to her feet. "Wait, no I'm sorry it was a joke," she yelled, running after the girl. "I'm just not good with people. I have a bad sense of humour. I'm also an idiot, please don't run!"

Lady Luck, it seemed, had decided to smile down upon her for once and Yuno slowed to let Claire catch up. The later panted for breath and her feet seemed to hurt more than usual. She looked down. Ah yes, that would be why_..._ she had no shoes on.

The girl kept walking, so Claire followed her down the block in silence. They passed many signs written in characters that she knew should have made no sense to her. She had never studied Japanese and most of the characters she had never seen before, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she could understand every single one.

Unless Teddy was also a secret wizard of some sort, there was no way he could have brainwashed her into knowing Japanese fluently while dumping her in a Japanese rubbish bin. Her lips pursed in thought.

When the awkwardness finally got to Yuno she looked over at the strange girl. "Why were you in the middle of the city?"

"Social experiment," Claire replied without a second thought. The lie surprised her. Her mind was somewhere else entirely. She very well couldn't stay in Japan with no money or ID. It was just asking for a bad time. "Do you know where the police station is?"

"Everyone does now days." Yuno frowned. Her eyes trained on Claire, eyebrows drawing together with worry. "Are you in any kind of trouble? Did you do something bad?"

"No, no! Nothing like that," she replied quickly, waving her hands in front of her, then laughed nervously.

Yuno's eyes closed briefly as she grinned. For a moment Claire was slightly starstruck. Were all Japanese girls this cute? "Thank goodness! How long have you been in Japan? You're Japanese is very good!"

"Oh, I..." She paused and bit her lip, wondering what on earth she should say. "I don't actually know how I got here," she admitted slowly. At Yuno's nervous gaze she smiled. "I mean, I was afraid of flying and got a little drunk and now it's all kind of a blur. My bags were lost and that—that's why I have to go to the police station!"

"I see!"

Gold star for you, Claire-bear_, _she thought to herself as they turn the corner and noticed a large crowd of people staring up at a television screen. "So, the police station is near by?" asked Claire. "I'd really like to get off my feet."

Yuno looked down at the black-polish painted toes that peaked out of cotton trousers. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed with a cute giggle that caused a dopey grin to float upon Claire's face. "I have some shoes in my bag. Maybe they'll fit—" Whatever else the girl had been about to say was quickly cut off as the foreigner threw her arms around her, effectively pinning her arms to her side.

Claire could've kissed her. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are the best!" Yuno smiled before leaning away.

"You're welcome," she said sincerely. "But... not to sound rude, but you stink. Can you please stop hugging me?"

Immediately Claire let go. "Yeah no problem," she mumbled, her cheeks flushing slightly from embarrassment and slipped on the shoes that were a little too small, but still comfortable enough to walk in.

Queerly enough, Claire noticed right off when the police station came into view. It still threw her for a loop that she could read the words _Police Station_ that were hidden in strange, almost cryptic squiggles. It just seemed unnatural to her; not the language, but the fact that she knew it. She turned to Yuno. "Thanks for walking with me. I'm not sure I would've been able to find it without you."

Yuno shrugged good naturedly. "I don't mind. It's rare that I get to meet someone whose foreign. You seem very nice... strange, but nice," she admitted causing Claire to chuckle.

"Strange... I'll consider that a compliment," she replied cheerfully, shoving her hands into her pockets. Goodbyes were always somewhat awkward to her. "Anyway, I best be getting on with it. My luggage won't ever get to me if I don't report them missing."

Yuno nodded. "It would've been nice to show you around Japan properly."

Claire started walking up the steps. "Then lets not say goodbye, Yuno," she offered, looking over her shoulder with a grin. "We'll leave it open and wish for the best."

"You got it!" Yuno yelled as she waved.

Claire entered the station and walked slowly, with some apprehension, towards the front desk where a large, burly man sat with crossed arms looking ever so intimidating in his uniform. Brown eyes narrowed as she closed in and stood before the desk. It was her first time even entering a police station, and she looked a dodgy mess. It would be no surprise if they threw her out simply for the putrid odour coming from her. It was truly a wonder that Yuno made it three blocks without shooing her away.

She stood and stared blankly at the man who looked down his nose at her in disdain, making her feel like a tiny, little ant waiting to be crushed. "English?" he inquired with a gruff voice that sounded like he ate cigars for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It was enough to shock her out of her bland stare. Leaning against the front desk she grinned. "Yeah, well, I can speak Japanese too," she answered, although she couldn't be confident on what language she even used. "But I'm having a bit of an issue."

His eyes studied her dirtied clothing. "I hadn't noticed."

Her head bobbed in a vigorous nod. "Yes, you see that's why I'm here," she grinned her most charming smile and drew a small circle on the wood with her index finger. "So last night I was having a party, and no one showed up, so I drank quite a bit more than I normally do. When I woke up I was in a pile of trash and it seems my phone and wallet never made the trip. I would very much like to go home, but therein lies the problem," she rushed, words mingling together incomprehensibly. "I can't get home without my wallet or phone."

"I see." He stood and walked around his desk to stand before her with a clipboard. "All right, here is a missing items report, fill it out and we'll alert you as soon as your phone and purse turn up. Until then you should probably contact your bank. There might be someone out there stupid enough to steal your identity, despite Kira."

"Wallet," Claire corrected, watching out of the corner of her eye as two officers entered with coffee. "And I'm afraid it's more complex then simply finding it. My wallet, phone, and... well everything else is still in—" She halted mid sentence and looked up bewildered at the officer. "I'm sorry did you just say Kira?"

It was the officer's turn to look at Claire like she had grown a new head... then disgust as Claire's stomach flip-flopped inside of her, like she were free-falling and she promptly emptied it for the second time in one day. Only this time it was on a shiny pair of shoes belonging to the police officer.

_Well bugger._

* * *

**Unnecessary AN:** The beginning of this is optional to believe, but more than likely it's just bullshit. This story is more or less just something I'm doing for fun in between fighting writer's block. Claire is actually modeled after an ex-girlfriend of mine who adores Death Note more than myself, and is even helping me to beta her personality properly. I'm hoping this will blossom into a fun and cute little story for you guys to read, though the later chapters might be a bit awkward to write since she demands this be an M rated fic, so at some point there will be smut whenever she decides who she wants to be with.

Anyway, I personally enjoy fan-inserts when they're well written, and I hope you guys do too. Feel free to leave a review if you like of if you catch any mistakes I may have made (there's always a few).

Cheers -Jack


	2. Flasher

**Chapter Two:  
Flasher**

It wasn't uncommon to occasionally run into a bum on the streets of London. Brady was a quite nice bum when he wasn't stealing food from the rodents that turned on her car's AC. He always gave her a toothless smile when she finally drug herself away from the computer or television to get groceries. There were stories told to her by her mum about trolls and bums living under bridges. Some nonsense about riddles and money, but she couldn't even remember which asked for money and which offered riddles. Either way, Claire certainly didn't fancy living underneath a bridge in Japan.

Which is why she made one of the hardest decisions she'd ever needed to make, and after walking all day, found herself sitting outside of an antique jewellery store.

After the whole emptying her stomach ordeal, the officer had cursed long and hard before finding a different officer to deal with the foreigner. It was a younger woman in her mid twenties, who had very kind eyes, and Claire liked her right from the start. She asked a few questions, which Claire managed to answer, lying through her teeth during the entirety. To anyone who asked she was simply on vacation and ended up having too wild of a night. Realizing Claire might not know about Kira, the officer explained the entire situation, including newspaper clippings when Claire refused to believe it.

It was just as stupid as her theory of the psychopath who had stuffed her in a suitcase. Even that seemed more plausible than landing into Death Note, but she couldn't deny the evidence.

No one would have the money, time, or power to manipulate an entire country into bringing a story into reality. The weight of the situation sent Claire into a lengthy panic attack, which was a first for her. She tended to go about things in a casual happy-go-lucky kind of way, by choosing not to stress over things out of her control.

With a long huff, Claire rose from her sitting position, pushed open the door and shuffled in. The there was no one in the main room, which struck Claire as odd. Of course, if Kira was part of reality, then no criminal would come thieving jewels in broad daylight.

She rang the little bell once, and finally an older woman holding a broom exited the back along with who Claire assumed was her husband since they wore matching rings. Claire smiled at the sheer cuteness of them... that was until the woman accused her of being a homeless thief and flew at her like a wild banshee, shooing her several times with a loud shriek. She was called many impolite names, some even Claire couldn't translate due to the sheer speed in which they flew from her lips.

"Hey! I'm not a homeless rat!" Claire cried at last and ducked the broom, lunging forward to the bell. "Ding ding ding!"

The woman stopped swinging at her and watched, her breath laboured and shallow.

"Ding ding ding!" Claire tried again. "I believe this is when you politely ask 'Can I help you?'," she offered dryly.

A chuckle came from the man who had been watching with amusement. He had laugh wrinkles around his eyes and wore clothes that looked a bit too young for him. "Excuse my wife, I've told her many times to stop scaring off the customers like that."

Claire's eyes darted between the two of them before landing on the wife who was looking down in shame, a black cloud hovering over her head. "I think she should listen to you. Geez."

He walked behind the counter. "Please, how may we help you?"

The old, antique ring shone on Claire's finger as she held up her hand. "I ran into some trouble with my bags at the airport and I lost everything I own. They don't even know where it is," she explained. "There's no telling how long, if at all, it'll take to get them back. How much would you take this for?"

The man's gaze was somewhat calming. "May I see it?" he asked politely, lifting the scope that hung around his neck. Hesitantly, Claire removed the ring and handed it to him.

Her mother had once warned her several times to research the jeweller she took it to. If someone knew what they were doing, they could easily slip out the diamond and replace it with a piece of glass, and she'd never even know it. It was taking a pretty big risk just walking into a random shop. Claire could only hope these people were honest, good people.

The man whistled low. "Wow, what a fine diamond you have here. May I ask where you got it?"

Claire rocked on the balls of her feet anxiously. "It was my mother's... or rather it was pass down from her mother who got it from her mother. Technically, it's my great-grandmother's, but I don't even know where she got it. It's basically just an inheritance ring," she answered, stumbling over her own words. It was really the only thing she had of her family and it was tearing her up inside to get rid of it.

"It's stunning," he admitted and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Are you really sure you want to sell this? It's rare to come across a diamond with this kind of cut and clarity now days."

Claire gave the man a small grin and shrugged half-heartedly. "There's really not much else I can do. I can't exactly make a meal out of a diamond. I hear they're terrible for the digestive track," she replied jokingly.

The man sighed and handed the ring back to Claire. Her stomach dropped. That was that, he wasn't going to take the ring from her. She'd have to live under a bridge and eat out of other people's garbage. Shit, she wouldn't even be able to get a job or brush her teeth. She'd die a hobo with bad halitosis and body odour like Brady!

"I can't take it from you, I'm sorry."

"But you said it was a flawless diamond. It's big and shiny, of course you can take it!" exclaimed Claire as she held the ring out to the man, almost shoving it into his hand with pleading eyes. _Just take it!_ her mind yelled.

Finally the man reach out and peered up as if trying to gauge how serious Claire was. "Lets make a deal then. I'll take it as a loan. The ring will go into a safety box.. After a year if you still haven't returned to buy it back, we'll put it out to sell. How does that sound?"

Blue-hazel eyes bulged. She jumped at the deal and beamed not fully believing her luck. The man counted the money before her and gave her a little card to fill out. She tweaked the information a little and handed it back where he put it in a small velvet box with the ring.

It felt odd holding so much money in her hand. It was easily the most money she had touched at one given time and she found herself wishing she had a more suitable place for the eighty notes. They lumped rather oddly in her cotton trousers, but it was really the only place she had.

Her hand never left her pocket where she held the notes securely in her fist while walking down the busy streets. Funny how she hadn't noticed it before with Yuno, but now that she really listened she could hear the word Kira whispered every so often.

Claire needed a plan.

Clare was terrible with plans.

Claire typically opted to fly by the seat of her pants without a second thought. It wasn't even in her mental capability to plan.

_Think. Think. Think..._

If L was alive, if L was real, that could only mean everyone was going to die!

Like a bullet from a gun she took off, running down the street and... had absolutely no idea where she was going. The signs around her were next to useless. She didn't even know what point they were in the plot. Either L was in the hotel still, or he had already rented out a skyscraper for headquarters. What if she was too late and he had already died? There were too many things unknown. But there was one thing she was positive of:

She really, really had to go to the bathroom.

She skidded to a stop in front of a random store and darted inside, noticing that everything was cute; the clothes, the bags, the shoes, even the toilet paper was printed with adorable little patterns.

It wasn't that Claire hated cute things, but if one could live inside of a bowl of marshmallows, all sugary and fluffy, this is exactly what it would have looked like. It was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the smell coming from her, so in hindsight she really shouldn't have been too picky. Anything would have been better than walking around omitting the smell of onions, mouldy bread, and spoiled milk.

She made a beeline to the ladies' room in the back where she promptly spent thirty minutes playing with the little box on the side of the wall that played 'tinkle tunes'. Seriously, little boxes that played noises while a person pees. _If that wasn't classy then what was?_ Claire thought to herself and jumped in the air when she felt a spray of water hit her bum. Okay, tinkle tunes were fine, but water spritzers were just weird.

When she finally made it to the racks she was feeling much better and the tinkle tunes had been a great tool for thinking. In her mind was a list of things she should do to prepare for fixing the depressing tragedy that was Death Note. The first few things on her list were rather simplistic, like find clothes, food, shelter, shower. Then it got complex: find a way to get to L.

The clothes were pulled from the rack without Claire ever really noticing what they looked like. If there were the correct size, they were good enough for her. She took it to the front counter where a bleach blonde with a little too much make up, curled her lip as she trailed her heavy lined, fake-eyelash covered eyes up and down Claire's body.

"Are you sure a poor girl like you can even afford these?" she scoffed, but Claire was mildly surprised to hear that the insult was in English.

Claire just grinned. It never did her any good to let someone trivial influence her day for worse and she already had too much to deal with. She laid the bills on the counter. "I'm sure I'll do just fine," she responded politely. "Also, your English needs some work."

The girl grumbled and threw the garments in the bag without bothering to fold them. A glower was sent towards Claire who just shrugged casually. Why would she care if her clothes were wrinkled? It wasn't like she really had to impress anyone. Grabbing her bag, she strode forward confidently and even tossed her head back over her shoulder to grin cheekily at the check out girl. It would have been a pretty badass exit, she figured... if she hadn't unexpectedly bumped into the door on her way out.

With clothes checked off of her list, next came food. She stopped into the one fast food place that she was familiar with. Her heart did a little jump for joy in her chest as she walked under the golden arches that lead to her own personal taste of heaven. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a newspaper rack and picked one up along with a map of the area. There might be something of use inside about either Kira or at the very least she'd get the date. After ordering a random combo, she sat down at the booth to read over the news.

There was a picture of the Kira logo, which was a mocking imitation of L's. She skimmed the article and found a list of deaths as well as a few conspiracies. She folded the paper again and scratched her neck with it. There really wasn't much to go on. None of the names truly stood out to her, but she couldn't let that get to her. Somewhere in her gut, she was sure there was plenty of time.

Pulling out the map she searched for a place to stay. There were quite a few, and she figured the best option would be to pick the closest one.

In most western countries, hotels were simply places with beds in them. A person slept, they woke, they left. There was nothing more too it. So when she read 'hotel' and noticed the cheap price she smirked and waltzed in. The smirk never left when the young woman at the desk asked what kind of room she wanted. Claire simply said it didn't matter.

But the second she opened the door, her heart fell into her stomach. If the smell of leather wasn't enough to knock her out, the sheer view she was witnessing would. Hesitantly, she entered the black and red room and stared fearfully at the selection of torture devices. Whips, paddles, restraints, and other unmentionables lined the wall and Claire picked one up, just to see what it was like before realizing that these items had likely been on someone's arse. The small paddle fell from her fingers and she quickly wiped her hand on her pants.

She walked past the giant X that seemed particularly intimidating and looked around for a bed. At this point she wasn't positive she would want to sleep on it anyway... but she was anything if not curious and continued onward like a warrior going into battle. If only she had protective armour there was no telling what she could pick up just by breathing.

When she had thoroughly searched the room, she came to the heartbreaking realization that there wasn't a bed at all. Never in her life, would she have ever guessed she'd be expected to stay in a BDSM dungeon. It was enough to send her flying down the hall to the main desk and request a transfer.

"No, no. This is a Love Hotel," the woman said with terrible English and pointed at the sign. What was it with people trying to speak to her in English when she clearly knew fluently Japanese?

"Yes, but I thought that was just the name! Can I please be moved?" pleaded Claire.

The woman shook her head, her smile never fading. "All booked. Sorry."

Tapping her foot, a lightbulb flashed over Claire's head. "Please, can you look again? My boyfriend is supposed to be meeting me here and it's going to be our first time together." She looked around before leaning in. "He's not very experienced, so I really want to make it special."

She giggled behind her hand and nodded. "Oh my. I guess it can't be helped."

The woman clicked away on her keyboard and her smiled seemed to drop a little more with every second that passed. When Claire was about ready to accept her fate in the torture chamber, she smiled and looked up with Claire. Little daisies floated around the woman's face connecting happy rainbows and Claire's eyes glittered back with joy.

"There is a room I can move you to, but it's a little more expensive," she warned and handed over the key.

Claire let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much. He should be here today or tomorrow. If he asks for Lloyd just send him on up, okay?"

It was a much nicer room, decided Claire when she entered. Modern, crisp, white; it even had rose pedals on the huge bed that looked to be as soft as a cloud. She propelled herself at it and let out a whoop when the foam formed around her body. It was paradise; pure, utter paradise. She grabbed the remote from the bedside table and allowed herself to turn on some music before rolling off to explore more of the room.

There wasn't too much in it, but it didn't stop her from tinkering with the coffee pot. She pressed a few buttons, trying to figure out how to use it, not that she was much of a coffee drinker, but she dabbled in the liquid crack occasionally.

"Pouring now," a robotic voice said before coffee started to pour from the spout and onto the dark wooden desk.

"No-no. No no no. Please stop," hissed Claire as she looked around. Where the bloody hell were the cups? She looked in the drawers of the vanity as liquid started to spill over the edge. Without thinking she grabbed the hem of her shirt and slid it under the spout. "OW!" The cotton did nothing to hold the liquid back as it seeped into her skin. Fumbling in pain, she started slapping the stupid machine before panicking, losing balance and ripping the cord from the wall on her way to the floor.

She lay panting on the floor for quite a time, until the previously steaming coffee turned to an icy cold and Claire shuddered. It was at that moment that she vowed to destroy all coffee makers that crossed her path. She strategically avoided looking at the mess she had made and walked directly towards the bathroom, ripping off her shirt as she went. It smelled like coffee, which was largely more appealing.

The tub was huge. Not just the kind of tub that covered a person's body with water except for their knees. It was the kind of huge tub that was clearly made for couples, closer to a jacuzzi. The icing on the cake was the fact that it was filled and warm to the touch.

A small "yippe" came from Claire and she shed the rest of her clothes to step in. Curiously, she picked up the remote from the wall and pressed a few buttons (clearly not learning from her earlier mistake), giggling childishly as the tub started a strobe light show under the water. Another button dimmed the lights. Her favourite button, however, turned on the jets causing the bubbles to increase greatly in quantity until they reached her chin.

Stroking her bubble beard, she finally settled into a comfortable position and let the warm water relax her dull aches and pains. Adrenaline had been pumping so hard through her veins that she had forgotten about the crick in her neck and the blisters on her feet. Pressing another button, she watched in awe as a TV slid from a panel and turned on automatically. Japan truly was a majestic place, she decided.

Flipping through a few channels, she paused on the news channel and began to wash her hair. Normally she didn't watch the news. In fact the only time she used the television was when she was playing something on her game console, but perhaps they would say something about Kira. She needed the refresher.

The news anchorwoman grabbed her heart flipping a few more channels another anchorman was clutching his chest, too. Claire froze. She remembered this part with quite a bit of clarity. This was when Misa was trying to find Light. Seriously, what was the daft girl thinking? Light wasn't even 'that' good of a character. I mean sure he had his finer moments and he was undeniably attractive, but he was still a sexist git. Another thought drifted to the front of her thoughts.

Ukita!

A fire lit under her arse and she jumped out of the tub, sliding across the wet floor and grabbing onto the towel bar before she could accidentally crack her head open like an egg. She had been somewhat prepared for this moment, but she hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. It did, luckily, tell her where she was in the series.

She rushed from the room, shoeless, with her plaid shirt only buttoned three down. "Sakura TV station! Where is it?" she all but yelled at the desk clerk whose eyes widened at the girl who was more dishevelled post shower than before. "Quickly please! My boyfriend has been in an accident," she bit out through her teeth.

"Take a left, it's the large building a block around the corner," she replied in Japanese. Clearly she knew better than to attempt directions in a language she didn't fully understand.

Claire cocked her head to the side. Well that was convenient... "Yeah thanks!"

She took off down the street, her bare feet slapping against the pavement. Her shirt whipped open showing her pale, toned stomach as she shoved the bright, pink cap down over her still wet hair. Pausing at the corner to catch her breath, she could already see the police arriving to the scene in an organized chaos. There was one lone car that didn't have flashing lights and she assumed immediately it was Ukita.

Reaching into her jean's back pocket as she ran, Claire grabbed the masks she had managed to snatch on her way out and cursed her self as she realized there was only one. Tilting the bill down on her hat she realized it would have to do. If she kept her head down, the bill would hopefully hide enough of her face for her name not to be seen.

"You can't be here," a police man shouted as she darted onto the scene, ignoring the small crowd of people who had stopped to witness.

The door had just started to open and Claire's heart hammered in her chest so hard she almost thought _she'd _have a heart attack. She managed to slam her body into the door, forcing it back closed.

Ukita was trying his best to open his car door, but the stubborn girl was growling at him, propelling her body at the metal door over and over in determination. Her feet were definitely getting abused as they dug into the gritty concrete. Finally she couldn't keep up and the door shoved her onto the ground. Thankfully she managed to grab the man's jacket as he rushed forward. She gave a strong heave on the fabric, causing Ukita to stumble, and pulled him safely behind the car for cover.

"What the hell do you think you're doing interfering?" he asked through clenched teeth from his position on the ground.

Claire waisted no time climbing on top of him, trying in vain to pin the larger man. She had never been a quick thinker, so when he almost knocked her off, her body responded before her mind could comprehend. Her body was officially running on autopilot.

"Just listen to me." She slapped him across the face lightly and he looked up with wide, angry eyes before trying to knock her off again. "Wait Ukita!" she growled.

He froze, cheeks reddening as Claire unsnapped the three buttons that were holding her shirt together. Brown eyes zoned in like a sniper on her chest. "What the hell?!"

A small breath of relief left Claire. Breasts truly were some of the best tools a woman had for stopping a man in his tracks. Hers weren't even that great, but seeing Ukita freeze made a tiny spark of arrogance fill her. It was a good thing he wasn't an ass man, she thought before she realized it was neither the time or place. She didn't even have the time to be embarrassed.

"Kira can see your name. If you're hell bent on rushing in there like a bleeding idiot, then at least wear this." She dropped the small surgical mask on his chest before rolling off of him. "Kira is using the street cameras. If you would have just let me explain, I could've told you quicker. If you don't believe me then put on the mask and look over your car."

Ukita hesitantly took the mask as if wondering whether or not to believe her. When he peered over the car's hood, he found three bodies laying on the ground. "How did you know that?" he asked rushing forward, but Claire snatched him back again.

"I'll answer later," she replied, hoping it was give her enough time for a suitable lie. At the current time nothing she could have said would've been believable. "For now, just give the chief a few seconds."

He was about to reply when a loud siren interrupted him. An ambulance came speeding around the corner and smashed through the glass door. Ukita turned to Claire with wide eyes. "Is that the chief?"

Claire rose the corner of her lips, giving the man a cocky smile. "Yup," She drawled slowly, raising her eyebrows as if to say 'I told you so'.

"Come on we have to go. Though he might have it under control by the time we get there."

She was hot on his heels as he strode forward through the doors. Claire carefully avoided as many shards of glass but a few still managed to get into the bottom of her foot. After this, she would deem walking unnecessary unless to use the bathroom. Surely L could do that much in payment for saving Ukita's life.

"Chief!" Ukita yelled and the older man peeked his eyes up over the collar of his jacket while not slowing down in the slightest. Fortunately they caught up easily. "Ukita? Where did you a mask in such short notice?"

The man jabbed a thumb over his shoulder in Claire's direction. "She brought it to me," he rushed as they made their way to the editing room.

Soichiro glanced at Claire before Ukita. "Who is she?" he asked once they made their way down the hall to stand before the locked room.

Ukita unfortunately didn't have a very good answer. He answered with the most honest reply he could think of. "I really have no idea."

At that time, Claire intervened by stepping forward and looking at Light's father. "I'm Lloyd," she answered helpfully. "It's very nice to meet you sir!"

Soichiro withdrew his gun, and Ukita followed suit. Claire was sure she was witnessing a live taping of cops, she could almost imagine someone jumping out with a camera at any point. It would've been even more fun if she'd had a gun and badge of her own though.

"Police! Open up!" he ordered, but no movement was made inside the room.

"Open up and put your hands behind your head or everyone inside that room will be under arrest for conspiring with Kira!" Claire yelled, again trying to be helpful. Ukita elbowed her in her side.

"Shush, you don't have the authority to make such a claim," he hissed quietly.

Claire just threw him a cheeky grin. "But it'll work! Trust me."

The two men were surprised when the door opened and a pale, fat man soaking with perspiration stood with his hands behind his head... Claire, however, was not so surprised.

"I told you," she piped unnecessarily with a glance in the younger officer's direction.

Ukita and Soichiro both ignored her as they strode into the room like the great mighty policemen they were. Claire opted to wait outside, already knowing they would easily retrieve the tapes. Her body could use with the rest anyway. It hadn't even occurred to her how out of breath she was. Plus she could hear the conversation drifting out into the corridor anyway.

"Where are the tapes?" Soichiro asked and Claire was smug at the stern tone that oozed authority. Soichiro Yagami was clearly not a man to be messed with. She always knew he was a bad ass deep down.

There were footsteps before a short silence. "Kira is going to kill me, though!" she heard the man say in a pained voice.

Frowning, she poked her head into view. "Actually," she interjected. "That's highly unlikely. I mean if you just hand over the tapes the worst that might happen is you get fired." The already pale man became bone white. "But if you don't hand over the tapes, then you could end up in jail, which would make it increasingly harder to find a new job afterwards... Just a thought."

Ukita's eyebrow twitched. "You're really not helping," he muttered quietly.

When the two heard a rustling, Claire positively beamed. "Of course I am!" she said pointing over his shoulder. He turned to see Soichiro grabbing a plastic bag and looking in.

"And the one that's airing now?" she added cheerfully. The man nodded nervously, glancing at Soichiro who still had a gun pointed at him. The tape ejected and soon joined the others in the bag.

When the two officers exited Claire gave them each a 'job well done' pat on the back. The excitement was wearing off and she could only hope that she could have a tiny rest. Surely too much adrenaline wasn't good for a person. It was a depressant of some kind, so she'd read once online.

She zoned in on the chief. Before she could think better of it, she slapped him on the shoulder lightly. "And what the hell were you thinking?" she scolded as the man gawked at her.

"Excuse me?" he choked. Claire watched in fascination as his face turned red with anger. Perhaps hitting a police officer wasn't quite the best idea. Soichiro the mighty bad ass father from heaven was very intimating. "I was doing my _job_, and I still want to know who the hell you—"

Claire crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly, refusing to let him get the best of her. "_You_ just had a heart attack. Do you realize how risky that was? Did you even stop to think about what kind of stress you just put on your body?" Okay, so she was being a tiny bit hypocritical, but he didn't have to know that.

The man just stood there in silence, his face puffing up. He leered over her short frame. "And just how did you know that?" he asked stepping forward.

Instinctively, Claire took one back. "Now, just... just calm down," she requested cautiously, throwing up her pointer finger. "There is a perfectly good explanation for this."

"Yes?"

Her lip made a small 'o' shape before pursing them together in a grim smile. "I... Well, I don't have one right now," she admitted lightly. The chief was pulling out his handcuffs and Claire's voice rose an octave. "B-but if we just get to L, I'm sure he can explain things better than I could. Right? L, you know." A nervous laugh escaped.

"She's right," Ukita said stepping forward and Claire visibly relaxed.

"Oh thank god someone believes—" She stopped at the look on his face. Behind her Soichiro encased her wrists in metal. She'd just been double teamed, how shameful...

"You should probably get back to the hospital," Ukita said to Soichiro who looked down at her before turning quickly. "I'll see what Ryuzaki wants me to do with her."

"Y-yeah," he waved over his shoulder, urging them away.

Claire gazed bemused at the man for a moment before Ukita grabbed hold of her arm and manoeuvred her around the broken glass on the floor. People had crowed the exit, but luckily it had been taped off by the policemen who had recently arrived on the scene. She saw a few flashes of light and a few reporters asked her if she were Kira. The accusation hurt, but she smartly kept her head down.

Ukita was careful to stand in front of her, so she assumed she wouldn't have too many pictures taken. Eventually they made it to his car where he shut her in and got into the driver's seat. He looked at Claire as if really seeing her for the first time. She noticed the tips of his ears redden and Claire tilted her head to the side bewildered. Why was he staring?

His eyes travelled lower and her's followed. _Oh._ Oh! "Oh bloody hell!" Of course, she would forget to button up her shirt! Even worse, the photographers had taken pictures of her. There were pictures of her naked chest in half a dozen cameras!

Ukita watched as the girl when stiff as a board, staring straight at him. He was a guy, of course he would be uncomfortable. Stiffly he turned towards the steering wheel. "Sorry for staring."

Claire was forced out of her mortified state and shook her head furiously. "Fuck man, don't just turn away! Button me up or let me out to do it myself!"

Ukita jumped in his seat. "Right!"

The moment was tense and awkward, but at least Claire had figured out why the chief had randomly acted so strange. Ukita did up a few buttons, hastily mixing a few, but it was enough to cover her up.

"I forgot how young you were," Claire admitted when he finished, trying to calm the awkwardness. The man looked at her curiously, and it was true. He couldn't have been older than Matsuda or L.

It was really a pity, his introduction and exit had been so quick that she hadn't really gotten the chance to find out about him. Other than his terrible smoking habit, he was a fairly unknown character. She mentally cursed the series for killing him off, but at least she had kept him alive. Now that she really looked at him, she realized he seemed to be a genuinely good guy.

Looking out of the car's window, she felt a little bad about calling him a character when she could easily see him flesh and bone sitting beside her. It was the first time all of this had been real for her. It was almost _too_ real.

The truth hit her so hard she didn't even notice when his cellphone rang, nor did she really hear the conversation was having until he put the car in drive. When she looked over she finally heard Ukita's hushed tones with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. She figured he was either talking to a girlfriend, or L. Their eyes caught each other's and he confirmed something before closing the phone.

"Was that L?" Claire asked curiously, her humiliation fading quickly.

Ukita didn't take his eyes off of the road. "Yes, it was. Where are you staying?"

Claire nodded for him to take a right. "Just over there. I'm staying at the Love hotel," she admitted casually and wasn't laughed when his eyes widened. She spoke before he could. "I didn't know it was _that_ kind of hotel. I just thought it was a name."

He seemed to believe her and pulled up before walking over and opening her own car door. "L asked me to search your room. Are you all right with that, or would you rather wait for a search warrant?"

Claire really didn't see the point in waiting, it seemed like a painstakingly slow process to go through, and she didn't even have any possessions other than her recent purchases. "Yeah, it doesn't bother me."

Ukita's hand was gentle on her arm as he guided her up to the front desk. The clerk spotted the cuffs and smiled impishly. "Is this the boyfriend? My oh my! Maybe you should have kept the other room," she teased scandalized.

The young officer seemed lost, so Claire smiled back. "Perhaps later," she replied with a wink.

"Do I even want to know what that was about?" he asked once they were inside her room, which had been left wide open in Claire's haste. Thankfully, nothing seemed to be misplaced.

Moving to sit on the cloud-like bed, Claire responded with a happy, "Nope!"

Checking her feet finally, she did notice a few bits of glass that stuck to the bottom of her foot, but to her surprise none of them had sunk into the flesh. The blisters that she had earned from an entire day of walking with bare feet seemed to have disappeared. She didn't find it to be too strange, and figured that her bath must've had some sort of medical properties. Japan just seemed like the kind of place that would have magical water.

"What happened here?" Ukita asked looking at the mess the coffee machine had made. There were stray droplets that still fell to the tiled floor.

Claire was still angry at it and scowled at the offending object. "You mean the devil coffee machine? Oh, she hates me," she replied simply, hate lacing her voice. "I mean who the hell thought a talking coffee machine was a good idea?"

Ukita continued to search the room, occasionally throwing a shopping bag on the bed as he stumbled upon it. After a few minutes, he stopped and stood back with his hands on his hips. "Is that really all you have on you?" he sceptically asked.

Claire nodded and pursed her lips. "It's all I have... period," she retorted with a shrug.

"And what of this?" He held up a wallet. "No passport, no identification, student card, credit card... just a bunch of money. Did you steal it?"

"What? No, I would never—" She paused, wincing as the lie almost spilled from her mouth. Okay, so she _would_ steal... but only if she had to. In a quieter tone she replied, "No, I didn't."

He sighed and pulled out his phone again. While waiting for it to ring he looked at Claire who was fidgeting nervously. If he took her in, she'd be deported in no time. She wasn't even sure what kind of a home she had to go back to any more.

"Look," he said, moving to sit beside her. "You saved my ass back there, and that's not something I'll take lightly, but I can't help you if you insist on lying."

Whoever was on the other end must have picked up, because Ukita didn't say anything more to her nor did he allow her a chance to defend herself.

"I've checked the room." Ah, so it was L, Claire realized. "No, there's no weapon, in fact she doesn't have much of anything other than clothes and some money." There was a pause. "Are you sure about that?" Another pause. "All right." He pressed a button and put the phone facing upwards next to her.

"L is that you?"

The digitally edited voice replied, "_So you knew it was me._"

Claire allowed herself a smile, but she was quick to remind herself that she shouldn't give too much away. There was no telling who else was in the room with him. If she said anything with Light in the room, who knew what he could do with the slightest bit of information? "Who else could it have been?"

"_Quite astute of you. Perhaps you would like to answer a few questions?"_

Claire shook her head despite the fact that she knew he couldn't see. "I'd much rather you ask them in person."

She could just picture him chewing on his thumb, or eating something sweet. Her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip.

"_If you know I'm L, then surely you are aware that I don't show anyone my face."_

No, that wouldn't do. She had to meet him. "But I already know what you look like!" she blurted before she could think better of it. Lips clamped together and she wished she could reach out and grasp the words that hung heavy in the air. It was tense enough to cut with a butter knife, so she tried to ease his mind. "I could describe you... if you don't believe me."

"_Would that be wise with Agent Ukita in the room?"_

Claire glanced at the man in question who was sitting casually on the bed. "It wouldn't matter, I'm sure he's already seen your face."

"_Interesting. Have you met me before?"_

"She's fidgeting," Ukita suddenly admitted to L, looking at Claire. "Probably trying to think of a suitable lie."

A glare was sent his way. "Just whose side are you on?" she hissed at him before addressing L.

"There are things I... know?" It was more difficult to explain than she had thought. It didn't help that L intimated the hell out of her for many reasons. "I don't feel comfortable admitting them over the phone. I know you won't believe me, but I really don't want to hurt you... I just want to help with the investigation."

"_Tell me something that would make me believe you."_

A million facts drifted through her brain at once, overwhelming her. There was any number of things she could admit about L's past, about his successors, about his case, about his enemies, about Watari... but only one would be the ticket to L.

"Send everyone out of the room. No one other than Watari and yourself can be present." Glancing up at Ukita she jerked her head towards the hall. "You too."

Ukita didn't budge nor did she hear anyone leave the room on L's side. After a long stretch of silence, L finally spoke. "_Everyone please give us a moment._"

Ukita was clearly not happy about leaving, but followed orders. The shuffling of footsteps fading told Claire that it was okay to finally reply.

Just saying the word could be a huge mistake. She couldn't take the risk of someone overhearing, not that she thought Light had supersonic hearing, but she really didn't want to take that kind of gamble.

Scooting over she moved to rest on her side so she could put her mouth closer to the small speaker. Perhaps Japanese would be the best way to go about it. L was truly brilliant, he was sure to pick it up no matter what language she spoke in.

"L, did you know Love Acts Wildly Like Irate Electrifying Tasers?" she whispered as quietly as she could.

There was a short silence and Claire could almost hear his thought process. She wondered if he had taken it as a strange riddle instead of a mnemonic code. Perhaps a hint would speed along the process? "Also, Watari is Quite Well," she said in perfect English.

She didn't have to wait long for him to translate the first phrase into English and pick out the first letter. A light thud was followed by a louder one, telling her loud and clear that L decoded her message.

"Ukita!" she called happily and the man poked his head in, curiosity evident on his face. "I think L will want to see me now."

* * *

**AN: **I would first like to say thank you to those of you who fav, followed, and reviewed. It's extremely encouraging and makes me want to write faster. This is the first story I've publicly uploaded, so I was a bit apprehensive. Fan-inserts are well know as a hit or miss kind of story. I hope the longer chapter doesn't bother too many of you.

Hopefully the title makes sense now. Love Acts Wildly Like Irate Electrifying Tasers = Lawliet. Quite Well = Quillish Whammy.

A few things to mention: 'tinkle tunes', printed toilet paper, love hotels, talking coffee machines, and marshmallow-like clothing stores, are all real things in Japan.

Lastly, (and she's might kill me) but real-live Claire _has_ flashed someone to get their attention. I felt it necessary to include it in this story at some point. Perhaps it may occur again later.

**Review and make my day?**


	3. Nosebleeds

_**Thanks for waiting patiently for this chapter! There's an explanation at the bottom.**_

**Chapter 3:**

**Nosebleed**

* * *

Ukita strode from one white wall to the next in front of Claire. Her eyes followed him back and forth across the room, his feet padding softly. Every so often he would give a response to something L had said, followed by a 'yes sir' or 'no sir' in a clipped but respectful tone. Claire assumed L had that effect on people. She sure had more than a small share of respect for the peculiar man.

A rush of exhilaration spread through her body, causing her to shiver as she thought about what she'd say to him when they met for the first time. She only hoped she wouldn't be so starstruck as to forget how to speak.

It was strange to feel an attraction to an animated character, but Claire reasoned that it was no more strange than feeling an attraction to any other fictional character. Lots of people found characters attractive. Just look at all the girls that went mad over Edward Cullen.

Of course it didn't feel like they were animated, everything seemed to be in it's natural three-dimensions. Perhaps her mind had only come to perceive them as real... or maybe she, too, was also animated and just didn't know it. Squinting at her feet curiously, she wiggled her black-painted toes.

They looked real to her. In need of a manicure, but very real.

Like a dog after a bath, she tossed her head from side to side, trying stubbornly to get rid of the pink hat that was still sitting atop her head. She felt like Alice in wonderland or Dorothy in the land of Oz. She had to be a dreaming. That was really the only explanation she could come up with. After thinking of all possibilities, she was either dead and this was her strange version of after life, or she was really in a coma. The only thing that she couldn't get over was the fact that everything was just so damn realistic.

The hat fell off to her side and her fringe tickled her forehead. The itch was bloody annoying, unfortunately she couldn't use her arms while in handcuffs. She stared at the duvet for a few minutes trying to come up with a key of sorts.

Hey, if it were a dream... it might be possible.

Her temple throbbed as she began to glare at the empty space, feeling rather stupid and silly. Not too surprising, Claire wasn't able to produce anything, much less something as complex as a key. Growling in irritation, she continuously blew from the corner of her mouth, trying to relieve the itchiness that was steadily become worse.

"Are you sure?" Ukita asked suddenly, and there was a short pause where he frowned. "No, I don't." Claire looked up, welcoming the distraction from her ever annoying tickle paradox of: tickle, blow, grumble in frustration, then repeat.

It had been clear that they'd been talking about her. It didn't really concern her as much as it probably should have. L had a certain pattern that he followed. No doubt he had come up with thirty or so different theories, sectioned them out according to their probability, and outweighed the negatives from positives. In a sense, Claire figured she had become a walking pie chart in L's mind. The image was hilarious, of course. She wondered if she could pull it off for a Halloween costume.

Lucky for her, L was a curious person and even if he thought the worst of her, he would still probably want to meet her. There was always the tiny chance that he thought she were Kira.

Which, while it hurt to be accused of someone with a God complex and a quick draw to put down others, she felt twinge of excitement. If she pushed the right buttons, maybe L would even cuff her to him, and she could sleep with him, and they could shower together... and screw each other's brains out... okay maybe not that last part, though she wouldn't be adverse to the idea. After all, she had needs too.

Somewhere during her pornographic vision, Ukita had flipped the phone closed. A goofy smile floated over her face and a blush formed across her cheeks as she stared at the wall in a daze. He cleared his throat, but she took no notice, even after a small line of saliva escaped the corner of her mouth to trail downwards slowly.

"You're drooling, Lloyd."

Again, there was no reaction.

It wasn't until the man leaned down so that he was next to her head that she became aware of just how close he was.

"Lloyd!"

Claire screeched and nearly jumped off the bed, something that amused Ukita greatly. "What the hell?!" she shouted, rubbing her the assaulted ear on a shrugged shoulder.

Laughing happily, Ukita gathered the shopping bags that had been thrown on the bed into one hand. "What were you thinking about?" he asked, calming himself somewhat, then he put a hand up. "Never mind, I really don't think I want to know."

Claire simply shrugged. "Suit yourself!" she replied merrily not trying to hid her smirk in the slightest. "So we're going to see L now?"

The officer nodded an affirmative while he walked to the door and Claire went from excited to hyper in seconds. He gestured for her to stand and waited.

"I look all right, right?" she asked nodding vigorously to assure herself. He stared blankly.

She bolted from the bed and ran over to the mirror in the bathroom. This was a big moment. She very well couldn't go in looking like Brady's equally as homeless sister. "Should I change first, you think?" she called back to him twisting her body from side to side in the mirror.

Ukita pinched the bridge of his nose; he felt a headache coming. "L isn't going to care what you look like, and I have more important things to do than babysit you."

Claire poked her head out of the bathroom with a scowl on her face. "Babysit?!" she exclaimed offended. "You can't be much older than I am. Don't be so dramatic, I mean honestly!" She scoffed. Ever since she had turned seventeen, she had taken care of herself well enough.

Ukita ran a hand through his hair in annoyance as he came to lean against the bathroom doorway. "You know, it's not like you can do anything about your appearance with your arms behind your back," he pointed out lightly. He took pity on her after seeing just how excited she really was to meet the detective.

"You underestimate me!" Claire yelled back childishly while diligently inspecting her face.

She had dark circles underneath her eyes, but in a way it accentuated her unusual eye colour. L had dark circles and he was still attractive. Her hair had probably dried to be plastered flatly to her head, but she could just keep the hat on, no worries. As far as her clothes, there was little she could do, and she didn't usually dress up anyway, so casual was pretty normal for her. Maybe L would find her unorthodox appearance likeable. At least she wasn't still going through her acne phase any longer...

"Or I could just unlock the handcuffs for you," he suggested.

_Now there was a grand idea._

Claire popped her head out again and brightened. "You would do that?" she questioned.

Adjusting the bags in his hand, he produced the key from his pocket. "You have five minutes then we leave immediately, regardless of if you're ready or not." He took a few steps forward. "I'll pick you up and put you in the car myself if I have to."

Claire closed the distance between them quickly and stared at him with her head tilted to the side. "Can I keep the cuffs?"

Ukita was perplexed. "Why?" he asked hesitantly, drawling out the word slowly.

Well, she really didn't want to tell her that she wanted to have wickedly kinky sex with L, but she didn't have to, the sly grin on her face said it all. "Just in case. You never know when handcuffs might come in handy, ya know?"

Ukita unlocked the metal that had encased her wrists while trying to shake his head of the mental image. "No."

"Oh you're no fun!" She pouted cutely. "Fine. Five minutes?"

"This case is about as far from fun as a guy could get," said Ukita dryly, unintentionally putting a slight damper on her mood.

Claire ran the tap, wetting her flattened hair, and puffed it up in it's normal spiky state. She skipped across the room and plucked on of her bags from Ukita's outstretched arm, retrieved her toothbrush and toothpaste, and brushed her teeth rigorously while rushing to spit in the sink.

It probably did little for her appearance, but she felt much more refreshed and rejuvenated.

"Okay good to go!"

She grabbed the corner Ukita's suit sleeve and practically ran from the room, dragging him along behind. She didn't stop running as she made it down the hall and threw the hotel key on the desk with some money. She probably overestimated the amount in her haste, but she was about to see L. Who cared if she was off by a few hundred yen? The girl at the desk sure as heck wouldn't.

By the time Ukita had entered the driver's side, Claire was already vibrating in the passenger's seat; not too unlike the turbo control vibration of a video game remote.

Claire was staring out the window with large, curious eyes, taking everything in. There was so much of Japan she hadn't been able to see. She felt like a child on a family vacation and had to bite her tongue to keep from asking if they were almost to the motel. The car had only just begun to move.

When she found she couldn't be any more patient—a mere seven minutes and thirty-nine seconds after pulling away from Loves Hotel—she turned to Ukita. "Can't you just use your emergency thingies?"

Ukita pulled to a stop before a traffic light and looked at her from the corner of his eye in confusion. "My what?" he asked, pulling out a cigarette from his suit pocket and lighting up.

Claire looked in the back seat and then in his glove department much to Ukita's protests. "You don't have any emergency sirens?"

Ukita looked at her with a slightly confused expression. "Of course I do."

"Then where are they! This is important!" she whined, still looking for said sirens.

"Under the seat," he said nonchalantly.

She let out a victory cry and leaned down with the intent of putting them to good use. Regrettably, Ukita stopped her by smacking her hand gently.

"_Ow_?" she said between pursed lips and stuck her tongue at him when he turned his gaze back to the road.

Ukita rolled his eyes. "I saw that." Claire grimaced. "This isn't an emergency," he chided.

"It is in my book," she muttered under her breath before letting out a grand huff and looking out of the window.

Sighing deeply, Claire spent the remainder of the time thinking of a good first greeting. 'Hi' sounded very boring to her and she wanted to go in with a bang.

Then it hit her light a lightning bolt... or a more appropriate analogy would be a speeding bullet.

She smiled as she thought of the perfect thing. There was a small chance that it might backfire, but if she pulled it off, L would hopefully be impressed.

Thankfully the ride wasn't all too long, in fact it was quite short, but Claire still claimed she could have walked faster. She may or may not have called Ukita an old grandpa at some point as they pulled into a parking garage. It was strange at how much she wanted to meet all of them, not just L but Watari, Matsuda, Aizawa, and the rest.

The car was officially in park and Ukita exited. Claire, however, did not. She was suddenly struck with a heavy case of nerves... embarrassingly so. She hadn't been this anxious since Teddy had entered her in a Halo tournament and the prize was a few months rent (which she did win, but _accidentally_ spent the money on more games).

What if L wrote her off as someone insane? She could very well be in a loony bin by the end of the day if she weren't careful. Who would even believe her story?

She wasn't even sure _she_ believed it.

_'_Oh_ yeah I'm from another world and somehow got drunk and landed myself here. You're part of fiction where I come from, a manga and an anime series as a matter of fact. I know everything that's going to happen. Basically you die despite your efforts, then Kira rules the world for five years before everyone except Near and Matsuda (and a few others) die too. I'm here to stop it all...'_

_Where's a superhero costume when you really need one?_

After a few moments, Ukita opened the door, causing her to jump. "Come on, Lloyd. Let's get this over with."

"That's okay!" Claire replied quickly. "I-I'm fine right where I am."

A large hand gripped her wrist and gave a tug. "Lloyd, get over yourself for just a second and come on! L's waiting for you."

She put on her most innocent face. "But this car seat is just so comfortable!" Yanking her hand out of his, she reached down to pull the lever, reclining the seat to lay almost flat. A small 'umpf' escaped her from the suddenness, but she recovered quickly.

"See, it's almost like a bed. You go take care of your business with L. I'll just take a little nap, I think I saw some peanuts in your glove department. If I get hungry that'll be more than enough dinner. I'm tiny so I don't need much food, and for water... for water..."

"Lloyd get your ass out here."

Ukita tugged on her ankle and began to pull, causing a screech to come out of Claire. There was nothing that she could use for leverage, but that didn't stop her from flailing about comically, trying to grab something. "I don't wanna! Don't make me!" she protested as the tips of her hand hooked around something.

The officer was stronger than he looked, holding Claire's body almost parallel to the ground as she clutched to the door frame with all of her might. "I thought you wanted to meet L," he pointed out in a strained voice.

Her fingers slipped off one by one and she finally landed flatly on her bum. To her delight, Ukita also fell on his, and she couldn't help but to laugh loudly, pointing at his unamused expression before sobering.

Ukita grumbled to himself, standing up and brushing the dirt from his suit. Seeing the girl on the ground made him sigh. "L's not so bad. I'm sure you'll be fine," he offered, extending his hand to her.

Claire, never one for being too moody, brightened instantly. "You're right. He's going to love me!" she announced as they entered the building.

They walked side by side up to the main desk where the officer smiled at the clerk. To Claire's surprise they shared a few words which in Claire's opinion was an obvious attempt at flirting; poorly executed, though. The clerk was very attractive, and had these doe-like eyes with long lashes. She smiled behind her hand as she giggled at something he'd said. Claire looked between the two during the exchange, trying to gauge just how close they actually were. As Ukita walked away, she could see the blush he wore as he said a quick goodbye over his shoulder.

_Oh Ukita... you dog!_

Somehow the small exchange relaxed her. Her attention was shifted from worrying about her first impression, to teasing Ukita mercilessly. And if there was something Claire truly enjoyed, it was teasing someone... It didn't take much to unnerve him, her toothy smile and short snort caused him to glance at her. From the moment they met, she could tell he'd be an easy target.

She nudged him with her shoulder playfully. "Don't look at me like that, Ukita. You're completely smitten on the lovely lady." Leaning in closer, she continued with a short glance backwards to the subject of their conversation—who was sitting with a lovesick expression. "Trust me, I don't blame you." She finished the teasing by wiggling her eyebrows.

The tips of his ears reddened, and she didn't miss the way his lips twitched in a hint of a smile before his face turned stern at her lewdness. "You're worse than Aizawa," he grumbled.

As they waited for the elevator doors to open, Claire turned to look him full on. "So, are you going to ask her out?"

The two stepped through, and only once the doors shut completely did Ukita respond. "What? No, we're just friends." He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to sound casual, but she noticed the slightly disheartened look on his face. "Besides," he added. "It's really not a good time."

Claire wasn't ready to let him off the hook just yet.

"You mean because of Kira?" she wondered, though it came out as more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah," he replied firmly that would have been a sign to back off if it had been anyone else.

Oblivious was Clare and she crossed her arms over her chest. "You could have died today. One step over that car without a mask and you'd be a corpse laying in the road with all of the other officers," she said bluntly, causing him to look at her with slightly wide eyes, as if he hadn't actually thought about how close he had been to a heart attack. Perhaps that had been a little _too_ blunt, but she had a point to make.

Her expression was far from hard, but she still tried to lighten it with a smile. "If anything, I'd say that would be more incentive. Anyone could die at any moment, Kira or not. Don't you think life is too short to put happiness on hold?"

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened on the top floor. It made sense, and Claire could see L's logic. Top floors meant a person had to travel fourteen floors in an elevator. If it was someone who could pose a threat, L could pull the power and there would be plenty of time. If someone took the stares there was fourteen floors to climb, and unless that person was in perfect shape there would still be plenty of time to prepare for an attack. L was a powerful person, she didn't even want to imagine the bounty on his head.

Top floor was indeed the safest way to go.

"As an officer, it's partly my responsibility to make sure others are safe. Even if she did say yes to a date, I refuse to bring her into this mess," said Ukita suddenly as they walked together down the hall, their footsteps muffled by the carpet.

Claire laughed, it wasn't the kind of laugh that resulted in her typical pig snorts. It was a small chuckle that said: 'you're being silly'. Ukita looked at her sharply, a frown set on his face, making him look much older.

"Well it's just... people die," she said with a shrug.

Not following her train of thought, Ukita tilted his head, mockingly impressed. "Brilliant Lloyd," he praised.

She grinned. Of course she was!

"Next you'll point out that people also _live,_" he deadpanned and she shot him a glare.

Stopping in her tracks, she leaned against the wall. "That's not what I meant. I just feel that people shouldn't be afraid to do things that are a little scary because you never know when your time is going to be up. I mean if I pretend I'm dead now..." She closed her eyes. "Am I even going to be satisfied with how my life went?"

When she opened her eyes he gestured to her with his hand. "Well? How was death?"

"I don't think I'm doing this right," she admitted, making her way to the floor to lie down.

"This is pointless," he said, tiredly wiping a hand down his face, then looked down. "What the hell are you doing?" She ignored him and crossed her arms over her chest, causing him to throw his hands in the air. "I give up!"

He was sorely tempted to just leave her in the hall. When her eyes finally opened she had a peculiar expression on her face, somewhere between annoyance and confusion. "Hmm... well, I thought I would have been more happy with my life than that..."

For someone who was in the process of evaluating her life on her 'death bed' she certainly didn't seem _too_ upset. "Let me try again. Maybe I missed something!"

"I think we should go," said Ukita, looking at the small shadow that had passed under the door.

For a moment her eyes opened to glare at him before closing again. "Hush, I'm dead," she whispered sternly, not hearing the door quietly open.

"That is quite unfortunate," came a low and soft voice from her right, and her stomach jumped to her chest as her eyes shot open to stare at the crisp white ceiling tiles.

Her eyes refused to turn and look at him, so she decided to speak... sadly it seemed all of her communication skills had left her body and she let out a small squeak of 'haah!' (which was meant to be 'Hello!').

It was just as she feared...

Slowly, painfully so, her head tilted to the side and she came to face what were possibly the nicest pair of feet she'd ever seen. They weren't huge feet, maybe a size ten—not that Claire thought the size of his feet reflected on other body parts of course. His toes were neither long nor stubby, and his toenails were clipped short, and appeared very clean. They looked really soft. Oddly enough, she wanted to touch them.

_No touching L, Claire!_

As she sat up she noticed Ukita had already walked inside the room and she stood, brushing off imaginary dirt from her clothes, just to have something to do with her hands. She finally settled on shoving them in her pockets while staring at the carpet. She saw his feet leave her view, and she followed him wordlessly.

The hair on her neck stood up straight as she felt him move behind her to close the door. She had steeled herself for their meeting enough and felt that she had enough of a hold on her emotions to finally look at him. Moving her eyes from feet up typical baggy jeans, she realized he, too, had his hands in his pockets. Whether or not he realized it, their stance mirrored each other's somewhat. She reached his typical long sleeved white shirt. He was hunched over, and she figured that he would have much broader shoulders if he stood to his full height.

He didn't necessarily look like a hunchback, just really casual and almost sloth-like. She could see his face, but she couldn't really make out any features yet. Her eyes were trained on his neck. Her throat went dry and she bit her tongue hoping to soothe it. When she finally grew a pair and looked up, she nearly fell over as her heart thumped loudly in her ears.

He really was attractive. It was entirely non-conventional, but he was unique and quirky. That was what made him attractive. Particularly his eyes which were wide and almost black with a halo of steely grey outlining them. Was he Brad Pitt? No. Channing Tatumn? Bloody hell, no. Jonny Depp... perhaps in his role as Edward Scissorhands. He certainly had the cheekbones, and was just as pale. His eyes continued to stare unblinkingly as she locked gazes with his.

"I'm Ryuzaki," he greeted, reaching out a hand for her to shake. Clare stared at it, almost thinking it might suddenly grow teeth and bite her.

_Play it cool, Claire..._

Just a simple greeting, it wasn't a big deal.

She had this.

Her gaze flitted up to meet his and narrowed in determination. To him, however, it appeared as a challenge and he seemed almost bemused.

_Easy peasy, lemon squeezy._

Hoping her palms weren't sweaty, she firmly grasped his hand and moved it up and down..

Oh, Claire was doing so wonderful! _Well done, Claire!_

And then she blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Y-you have really, really lovely feet!" she shouted at him before little dots flickered before her head and her body became jelly-like.

It would have been quite romantic, if L had swooped in and caught her like the hero of a romantic dream, but as her knees buckled, she realized he wasn't going to. She threw her arm out, hoping to catch the wall. The tips of her fingers were mere centimetres from the wall as she misjudged the distance and banged her head instead... which didn't help with her light headedness. She felt a small wet trail drip down her chin. Great, now she was drooling over him.

_What an idiot!_

Turning to lean against the wall she sat down and crossed her legs, reaching up to swipe away the drool. When she inspected her hand she grimaced, but was still somewhat thankful. She hadn't had a nosebleed since she were a kid, and even then they weren't that common. Well that was slightly less embarrassing than drooling. She laughed softly, where her shoulders shook and no sound came out. She honestly thought that was just an anime thing.

Who the hell has nosebleeds in real life!

Claire did, apparently.

And just why was she so afraid of L anyway? She liked to face her challenges head on. Sure she had the occasional flippant freak out, but they never lasted long. Hadn't she already decided she would do anything to keep as many people alive as possible? She could hardly do so flailing about spilling nose blood everywhere!

Shaking her head, she squared her shoulders and started to stand on shaky legs. "Sorry about that. I—my blood sugar must be low and it's been a long day," she lied.

"I'm sure I can get something to help with that," L replied smoothly. "And thank you, no one has ever paid my feet such a pleasant compliment before." Claire mentally groaned.

"You're welcome," she forced before looking around the room. Six pairs of eyes stared back at her and she carefully wiped the rest of the blood from her face... then there was blood on her hands and she looked around for something to clean herself off with. But nothing really jumped out at her, and she really didn't want to wipe them on her clothes. That wasn't likely to make a very good impression at all.

'_Hi! I promise I'm not a bloody psychopath. Ha-haha...'?_

Eventually, her eyes landed on Ukita who was the only person in the room she knew. She gave him a small pout that pleaded for help. Ukita stood, rolling his eyes. "Let me get you a hand towel..." he offered dryly.

Claire took a steely breath and mentally put on her warrior armour (strangely similar to the armour she wore in World of Warcraft). _Here comes the moment of truth._ Holding out her reddened hand before her, she smiled nervously. "Bang?"

L's eyes widened a fraction as she mimed the same greeting he had given the task force upon their initial greeting. He gestured to the sofa. "Please, have a seat," he offered before sitting in the small chair.

Out of nowhere, or rather out of Ukita's hand, a sopping towel smacked her in the face. She stumbled a little, but Claire managed to grab it before it hit the floor and sat down. "Thanks," she bit out wiping herself off.

"Interesting," L admitted, pulling his feet to his chest. "I wasn't aware Ukita had told you about that."

Claire, satisfied with how clean her face and hands were, folded the terry cloth. She looked around, not knowing what to do with it and settled on simply holding it until Watari came in to drop off cake for L. To her surprise he set another slice before her. On the way out he took the cloth and nodded to L (some sort of silent signal, Claire was positive). She grabbed the plate and shovelled the food in her mouth, closing her eyes and humming in appreciation.

_Like heaven on a plate..._

Finally she opened her eyes and smiled. "He didn't." The eyes around her still lingered on her and she shifted with discomfort.

"Can we talk alone, maybe? There are things I don't want everyone to know..." she trailed off hoping he caught the unspoken words: 'things you don't want them to know either'.

He stood in one swift motion, leaving his cake for another time. "There's a room in the back."

Claire took a few steps forward before rushing back to the coffee table and shoving in the last two bites of her cake; it was just too delicious for her to pass up.

Sprinting to catch up, she followed him to the bedroom. It took a lot of willpower not to attack him, but she proudly remained strong and looked around to take her mind off the fact that she was _in_ L's bedroom. It didn't look too unlike her hotel bedroom (the second room, not the dungeon of course). L sat on the only chair in the room, again adopting his customary gargoyle position, while she moved to sit on the bed.

"There are cameras scattered throughout the room," he commented calmly.

She smiled, expecting nothing less. "I'm not surprised," she admitted, glancing back at him. "So what do you want to know? Where should I start?"

"I believe a customary greeting would make the most sense. After running your face through various recognition software programs, your name still hasn't been found."

Claire nodded, somewhat thankful. For all she knew, there was another self out there identical to her and it wouldn't be so good if they crossed paths, wickedly cool, but not good. She'd seen enough time travel films to know you don't run into your carbon copy. It just messes with everything; something about a shift in the world's natural rotation or some mumbo jumbo of that nature.

"You can call me Lloyd," she offered, then let out a small sigh and flopped back on the bed facing away from L.

"Is Lloyd your name?" he asked.

She laughed. "You and I are a lot alike in that sense." Her chin tilted up so that she could see L, who was upside down from her prospective. He had pulled out a lollipop at some point, and was licking it, pausing every so often to swirl a pink tongue around it while deep in thought.

_Damn that oral fixation..._ she thought, rolling over on her stomach.

Claire's lips parted. What she would give to be that lollipop right now... His tongue darted out again and hers did too. When he looked up she instantly shut her mouth and scratched her neck, embarrassed to be caught openly gaping.

"The mnemonic code was clever." Claire brightened and flashed a toothy smile. "The question remains how you know my name."

Her smile faded. "I can't really tell you that."

His eyes seemed to look deeply into hers and she let out a small, girlish gurgle of joy, which he ignored. "Why is that?"

Again, she didn't have an answer.

"I don't know..."

"You don't know," he parroted, narrowing his eyes. "Then what will you tell me?"

She shrugged. "I guess I just need to be here." As a side thought she added, "I kinda already told you this, but there are things I know that I shouldn't know... but somehow I do... you know?"

L stared. "No."

She was confused. "No? What do you mean no?"

"No, I don't know," he said simply with incredibly innocent eyes.

"Oh..." she said dumbly. "Okay, basically what I'm trying to say is this... I have..." She paused. "Well, I have these dreams or something. And something just told me I need to come here, so tada! I found myself here and now I'm going to help!"

"I see, and why are you wanting to help with this investigation so badly?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious. Biting her lip, she shook her head. "So you can't tell me that either."

"It's not that I want to keep these things from you, but I shouldn't... a-at least not yet. Maybe at some point I can, but right now..."

At some point L had finished his lollipop (much to Claire's sorrow) and began chewing at his thumb as he listened intently. His stare was more intimidating than she thought it'd be. After a tense silence, he removed his thumb from his mouth. "Is that your way of admitting you have some sort of psychic powers? There has been vast research regarding extrasensory perception, but there still isn't enough conclusive data that would—"

"I'm not psychic," Claire interrupted, trying to brush off the comment with a smile that L knew was forced.

"ESP could be easily tested, Lloyd."

She shook her head. "I wouldn't be able to prove anything, what would you ask me to prove it anyway? 'Who is Kira?' 'What colour tie will Matsuda wear tomorrow?' 'What is my favourite food?'"

"Do you have the answers to those questions?"

She rested her chin on her arms, peeking up at him through her lashes and said nothing. She didn't want to think of what might happen if she cried Kira with no evidence to back up her claim. If she gave all the answers, things might turn out worse than before! Ryuk might even go mad and create a natural destruction because she ruined his fun.

Best case scenario: Ryuk kills Claire and Light then gets over it and returns to the Shinigami realm.

Worst case scenario: He kills everyone in Japan with an earthquake for 'lols' because Claire stole his fun away.

Super worst case scenario: Rem takes over the world because Claire sent Misa to jail for execution and she went mad.

"Quick to deny the question of clairvoyance, I'm more inclined to think you are lying," he said more to himself than to Claire.

"So you believe in ESP?" she found herself asking.

"It hasn't been proven false, until then I'm aware of the possibility." L gestured for her to continue and Claire huffed.

She certainly wasn't psychic, but would it really be _so_ terrible if L thought she did have some sort of clairvoyance or ESP... whatever it was? Though, now that she said she wasn't psychic, in his mind, the percentage that she _was_ psychic had gone up. If she suddenly changed her mind and admitted that she knew the future then he would think she was mad and the percentage that she wasn't psychic would shift and go up instead! So all she had to do was pretend that she wasn't psychic, or at least pretend that she didn't want him to know she was psychic.

Ugh, her head was hurting from all of the thinking... and she just gave in. If they continued in the manor they were going, they would just talk in circles.

"Matsuda will probably wear a red tie since he doesn't seem own too many ties. Your favourite food is something with strawberries, of that I'm almost positive. Maybe it's cake, or maybe it's just the fruit itself, but not alone. They'd have to be covered in sugar or syrup, but not jam," rambled Claire as she clenched her eyes shut trying to remember any detail that might persuade him to cling to his ESP theory.

"I can't tell you who Kira is, and it's not because I don't want to. I just can't, there would be no way to prove it other than my word anyway. You have to follow through the investigation on your own special way of process of elimination, statistics, and percentages... or however you solve your cases. I can give you tips, I can warn you, but I can't point fingers. _Even_ if I did, it'd just be my word against theirs."

L leaned in closer to her, looking like he might fall off of the chair. "Why not jam?" he asked lowly.

She stared at the edge of the bed and licked her bottom lip. It wasn't all that surprising that _jam_ of all things was the one fact he decided to dwell on. "W-well... That was what Beyond used to taunt you with during the BB investigation," she answered.

When she looked up, she noticed just how hard he were biting down on his thumb. The indentations of his teeth were turning pink where blood pooled around the raised edges contained only by a thin surface of skin. Glaring lightly, she reached forward to smack his hand away from his mouth. "Stop that! You'll make yourself bleed."

He visibly tensed and went ridged in his seat, but opposite of his body language, his face calm and collected. He betrayed nothing of his thoughts, which made her incredibly nervous.

She wondered if she had crossed a line by touching him. "Sorry," she murmured just in case. Even with a handcuff linking them together, Light never really touched L. It was clear that he had an aversion to human touch, but behind his eyes she could see him replaying their conversation and she decided to remain silent until he had a few percentages to throw at her.

Yawning quietly, she closed her eyes. Just for a moment, she was tired, and it didn't help that L's bed was just as soft as the one at Loves Hotel. Anyone would want a small cat nap on what felt like a cloud... especially after what she'd been through.

L's mind was like a whiteboard full of numbers all formed into assorted formulas to come up with different possibilities. He meticulously sifted out the most unlikely actions based on the current content he was given, storing the rest to pull up at another time. Within the small stretch of silence he had worked out a few theories, however improbable, but there wasn't enough information to come to a solid conclusion.

And that bothered him.

He noticed the girl had already fallen asleep and was snoring softly on his bed. She was different, but he couldn't yet decide if she were trust worthy at the current time. The case with BB hadn't been difficult, but it had hit him hard. Very few people understood just what their relation had been, and most of the information had been kept from the press. No one knew they had grown up in the same orphanage, or that BB had purposely baited L.

It seemed the most likely explanation was also the most improbable.

With a small sigh, he exited and made note to ask Watari to bring some extra blankets for her. He'd finish his calculations later, for now he had to worry about this new power Kira possessed.

The task force looked up at him as he took his spot just in time for Soichiro to escort Light in. He looked at them all before flicking his gaze to the bedroom door in an unspoken order to not mention Lloyd just yet.

L stepped forward. "Thank you for coming so late, Yagami."

"My pleasure, Ryuga. We both want to catch Kira, though I'm surprised you asked for my help," Light admitted, extending his hand for L to shake before he tilted his head in greeting to the rest of the task force. They did a small role call of introduction.

L nodded serenely. "I will call you Light here. I would appreciate if you call me Ryuzaki in return. In light of recent events I merely wanted someone I can form a second opinion from." He motioned to the chair. "I am quite confident in your deduction skills."

He moved across the room to pick up a file. "I have all of the data collected on Kira as of now, as well as the tapes that aired earlier. I would like you to examine them and tell me what you find. This is restricted information and any release to the public will warrant arrest for treason."

"Of course," Light clipped as L slid the tape into the player and turn the video on. The detective stepped back to watch Light as he listened to the message, concentration was evident on his face as well as mild disgust.

L had genuine faith in Light's deduction skills, he hadn't lied when he paid the compliment. With his ability to assemble clues together, there was over an eighty-seven percent chance that he would deduce that of a fake Kira. Based on the current information Kira claimed within the tapes, not only did this new Kira kill victims who had been guilty of minor crimes, those same criminals had never been punished by the original Kira.

The notion that Kira had suddenly changed his motives was almost unnecessary to consider, and the probability was less than two percent. Psychopaths typically had a few chosen ways of murder. They were prone to order, schedules, and believes that inflated some sort of superior complex. It wasn't in Kira's pattern to make examples of innocent citizens just to prove a point. Kira liked to take risks, he liked to toy with L, but he wasn't flamboyant. Until recently, Kira had stuck firmly to the root of his cause—no matter how skewed and unjustified those beliefs were.

Though the change was an obvious one, it wasn't necessarily the key clue that supported the theory of a second Kira.

The Kira they had previously been pursuing needed both a face and name to commit murder. The theory was supported heavily by those policemen who had been killed within seconds of arrival. More time would have been required to search each individual officer to find a name, meaning the new Kira somehow knew the names based on a face alone. Perhaps that was why he had request an appearance on television from L. Kira planned to execute L publicly in the name of justice; however, it seemed this Second Kira also underestimated L's intelligence gravely.

Now the question remained, what would Light think? He knew Kira would never pass up the opportunity to be rid of L under the assumption that the entire case would be at standstill.

Twenty minutes passed before L walked over to stand next to Light, putting his index finger to his lip he asked, "Have you found anything?"

Light's eyes narrowed slightly as he stood swiftly. "Yeah. The Kira from the tapes is not the same from the Kira we've been after so far. This one seems to have gained a new power." Light glanced at his father whose eyes shone with pride. The corner of his lips lifted upwards slightly before he continued. "The power to see a name along with a face, which makes him or her more of a threat."

Ah. Of course Light would already think ahead. L both enjoyed and was miffed at his brilliant mind. As a team-mate they were a force and nearly unbeatable, but as an enemy their minds were too equally matched.

L nodded in agreement. "Very good Light, I deduced the same theory myself."

Light put his hands in his pockets. "You were testing me?" he asked, forcing hurt into his voice.

L's eyes widened innocently. "No. As I said earlier, I merely wanted a second opinion. The fact that you came to the same conclusion only strengthens my theory. I appreciate your time."

"What do we do now, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda asked.

L glanced at the task force from the corner of his eye then let his gaze return to Light. "This new Kira is stronger in than the original only in the new addition to his power. It's clear that he supports Kira, but he also seems somewhat impulsive. I believe he has a real obsession and his dedication may be the key to finding the real Kira."

Light frowned for a moment. "He? How positive are you this Kira is a man?"

"I'm not positive, as a matter of fact I believe it is almost a fifty percent chance either way," L replied bluntly. Upon noticing the look on Light's face he lifted an eyebrow. "Is there something else, Light?"

"What about the girl?" he offered. "She knew something when she rushed in after dad." He paused. "What is the possibility that she is the Second Kira?"

There was a pregnant pause in the room as no one wanted to admit that the girl was not only in the building, but in L's bedroom.

"Undetermined at the moment... however I—"

He was cut off by the small creak of a door opening and all pairs of eyes turned to look at the sleepy girl, who ran a hand through her hair, fixing it into place. Yawning, her arms rose above her head in a small stretch, showing a small bit of her stomach from where the last few buttons on her shirt had come undone somewhere during her tossing and turning.

"Man that was the best cat nap I've had in ages," she said with a hum before stopping dead in her tracks and looking around at the room full of people, her mouth pulling into a little 'o' shape. Her eyes grew wide as she looked from L to Light and back to L.

"Oh... erm..." She tugged on the collar of her shirt nervously and gave a small wave. "Heyo."

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**AN: It's been a while since my last update and I'm sorry for the wait. This chapter took less than a few hours to write, but when I got feedback from Claire we both agreed that it was way too serious. An exact quote was: "Damn I sound boring! Can't you make me sound more awesome?"**

**Every time I read this chapter, I'd find something that needed an edit. I'm still not fully satisfied, because I really wanted her first meeting with L to flow with a perfect mix of sincerity and humour. I'm not positive I pulled it off; however, I know it's time for you guys to receive a new chapter and I thank you for waiting patiently.**

**Thanks for all the reviews I got last chapter. If I haven't thanked you via PM then I am officially expressing my gratitude. It's very encouraging to hear that my story (and Claire) is well liked.**

**Reviews are very much appreciated.**


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